Saturday, October 21, 2006

and you thought this was over...

sorry kids, i know its been a while since i've updated this deal. but rest assured, this creation of mine is far from its end! as long as there are thousands of pages on google image search and as long as i can think up creative ways to search for them, there will be top quality hot tub party pics reviewed. and thats a guarantee!

oh man did fil ever deliver on this one! this fine pedigree comes from what is probably my new favorite website to browse for hot tub pics, "linda's big connections", a website dedicated to finding big ol' ladies love and places to hang out in hot tubs with said lovers (or something). once again, we have an extremely awkward grouping of people that makes this kind of thing so beautiful. my favorite thing here is the kind of sweetly retarded-looking guy a little left of center who's face is nothing but pure rapture for our tubby-hot-tub statue of liberty in the center. it's true, sonny, you done picked a winner! on the far right: arm brace, cast, or one of those hot topic avril levigne arm-sock things? you decide! the guy next to her is just sooo stoked that he simply has to be pointed out. hell, everyone in this picture is pretty much priceless! (literally) big up to linda's big connections for the good times!

YES! two thumbs up is exactly what i'm giving rick for finding this instant classic. in my dream world, these two gents are fighting (playfully, of course) for the right to massage homegirl's shoulders. and boy is she ever (playfully) distressed to be caught in between this battle! womb-broom dude is sporting one of the finest facial expressions to have graced this blog yet, like seriously top-notch. all-around this is truly amazing. we can always count on rick to bring the finest, and this is certainly no exception!

now HTPB reader brayan sent me this one via e-mail, but whats weird is that i actually found this guy myself a few months ago. we're on the same wavelength, dawg! i've been sitting on this for a long time, but you know it would be wrong of me to deprive you all of such a good picture! its been a while since we've had some wine in the hot tub too. this is another case where when i go to write about the picture, i find something completely different i'd never noticed before. case in point: i know y'all are looking and laughing at the foggin' glasses dude like i was, but look a little closer...dude's got boobs! see what i'm saying? i would have never guessed it to be a lady, but i done proved myself wrong! the duder behind him/her is looking equally as stumped too. not blamin' ya, pal!

wellp, thats it for now, but you know i'll be back with more soon, so stay put!

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

we don't die, we multiply!

my best bud fil has been in this hot tub party searchin' game with me for quite some time, and he's come up with quite a few amazing finds over the years (see: alien hot tub pic). so knowing i was a little dry on photos for this update, i put him to work and damn did he ever deliver! keeping with the "one man show" theme, here's some finer images hand-selected by one of the best, reviewed shotgun-style in two sentances or less: ladies...moustaches.....i smell BEARS!!!

you wanna try and find a picture more creepy and unsettling than this one? go ahead, I DARE YOU!

most. boring. hottub. party. ever.

guy on the left: "WHOOOOAAAAAAA! YEAAAAAHHH!!! (probably) ARIZONA STATE!!!" where exacty is the lighting in this one coming from?

the dialog bubbles (not my doing) were not needed in order to make this one hilarious. GLOWSTICKS!

this one is pretty fucking good...

...but this one is BETTER!

that mosaic blur should be covering a lot more than just a few faces, namely sooo many pairs of gross floppy boobs. however, it should not cover up CROWD-SURFING A FOAM PARTY!

try as you might, but there is no way of convincing me that this one isn't just TEEMING with latent homoeroticism!

and last but certainly not least...

"fuuuuuuuuuck, huh"

Sunday, October 08, 2006

oh yeah, real fun!

so the "serious blogger" i mentioned in my previous post e-mailed me, and boy am i glad he did! 'cause with along with really nice message about enjoying the blog and such came some of the finest images i've seen in this game yet! we can thank scott for keepin' it mad real and finding all the following nuggets of gold.

this is amazing! i'm not sure what exactly has gone down in the water our homegirl here is loungin' in, but it definitely doesn't look pleasant. i'm happy it hasn't caused her to lose her appetite though, because if you know me, you know theres two things here that i find extreme amounts of hilarity in: HOT TUBS and BURGERS!!! such a trooper this girl is, to not let someone else's nasty business get in the way of a good time! if only we could see more of whats going on at this ultra-casual affair...sigh, one can dream, though.

guuuhh, this one is soo gross! certainly one soup i would not like a taste of. this is why your parents told you to never go exploring at the junk yard, and boy were they ever right! i don't think theres a single thing in this picture that isn't covered in some kind of filth, and certainly our dirty cowboy on the right is no exception. maybe its a good thing he forgot his swim trunks? that water might turn from a cool, pleasing grey to god-knows-what. the dude's face next to the giant rubber ducky is straight up nasty; maybe theres more unknown pleasures going on underwater that are best kept a secret. the only props i'm going to give to the parties responsible for this image is that their hot tub appears to be made out of an old boat, which wins for some mild creativity. still, would a little housekeeping hurt? i guess grimey is as grimey does.

of course this isn't gay. how could it be? i mean, whats homoerotic about wrastlin' and monkeyin' around with your best dude pals with minimal amounts of clothing in a hot tub? i thought the noogie as an art form died out with sega genesis, snap bracelets and cut-off flannel shirts, but i'm happy its being kept alive here, because there really isn't anything more archetypically dude than giving someone a noogie. style points are awarded to our man in the foreground...i can't tell if they're sweat pants or biker pants (or wrestling pants?!), but one thing is certain, and that is that they're tucked into a pair of socks! and that, my friends, is stylin'! also, big up to the guy in the background for being just sooo fucking stoked to see his friends acting dumb. a real barrel of laughs, this guy!

thats it for now, but like genital herpes, no matter what you do to try to suppress it, i'll be back with more! 'till next time, readers!!!

Friday, October 06, 2006

you can find me in the tub, in the bubbles...

first, lets talk some business:

now we all know how big the internet is, and how easy it is for things to go unnoticed in its vast sea of smut and banner ads. i thought certainly it would at least take a hell of a long time (maybe even thinking it would never hapen) for someone to catch up to my shenanigans doing this thing, but oooohhh no dear readers, we've been spotted. by way of a friend who's a "serious blogger", one of the esteemed members of our beloved goth hot tub pic found her way to my inbox, and left me a wonderfully surprising message about how much she's actually enjoying the blog! you can bet that was a relief, i thought for sure i was going to have to pull it when i first started reading. but rather, we may even be getting MORE from the same night...details forthcoming, but for now keep your fingers crossed and your garlic necklaces and wooden stakes in the garage...KIDDING!!!


HO - LY - SHIT! DJ Rick strikes back with another priceless gem!!! we don't need to discuss how ultra-lame and low-rent-office-party-gag the "cheese hat" is...this is a given. but past that, seriously, just what the fuck is going on in this image?! whatever it is, it's definitely pretty fuckin' casual. maybe the brewsky chillin' out in a coozie (cheesehead must have lost his, or could be on his way for another?) is an indicator as to why these dingdongs think its a good idea to hang out inside the hot tub with a bunch of probably powered electrical equipment. i don't have to get all MADD guest speaker here and tell you about how alcohol impairs your sense of judgement, but shit, really? microphones in the hot tub? i suppose we can't all be as smart as most children ages 5 and older. i want to also bring to light how AMAZING the structure of this hot tub is...i can't be certain, but i think what we're seeing here is some kind of hot tub hut island in the middle of a pool or something? totally bananas! for its originality, quality layout, and sheer random stupidity, this one's bringing home a trophy.

another hot tub party blog first: BACK TO BACK IMAGES! both found their way to me through mr. bryan riggs, who has been doing much to spread hype about this nonsense, even taking it far enough to host his own hot tub parties! now this is what i'm talkin' about, just straight up big chillin' the way that only people like this know how...with a huge cooler full of cheap hooch and a hot tub to drink it in! no ladies here, man, this is dudes night out for real. i like how the duder in the middle of the top one is posed, like he's one of the hunky male models in the "naked photo hunt" touch screen game they have at like every dive bar. so tough, so cut, so...EROTIC! i'm also digging the symmetry of these poses, like how the big dudes are totally holdin' down the base while the skinny dudes are throwin' it up like it ain't nothin' at the top; total bro-dawg pyramid! another fine example of the super chilled-out bro lifestyle we all know and love...thanks bryan!

well thats it for now, but i'm going to leave y'all with one last one that you're just going to have to process on your own; thanks be to dave for THIS