Saturday, September 30, 2006

now with 100% more teenage erections

seriously this is getting addictive, this blog-updating business. not that i mind, of course. apparently its also getting addictive to the friends who are reading this, because i've received a TON of pictures from you guys. this is AWESOME! please keep 'em coming!!!

if you didn't immediately hone in on the fact that the young lad in the black speedo (europe?) is rocking a super casual boner, dont worry, i'm not holding it against you. theres a lot to...oh who am i kidding, thats definitely the best thing going on in this one! this dude is just sooo stoked to be hanging out with these fine 16 year old honeyz in this raging tub of hormones, and it literally shows. thumbs up to you, buddy! also, i really like how awkward the guy just joining this boatload of fun on the far right looks. maybe he too has a teen boner, and is just a little more modest about it than his cool friend. folks, we simply will never know, will we? props to seth for finding this gem.

this falls into one of my favorite sub-catagories of the hot tub party pic: the super unnaturally-lit commercial photograph kind! do you really think these people are just hangin' out because they're super good friends? probably not. but thats what makes this kind so priceless. i feel by their expressions that this one is set up to make you feel like your sitting across from them at this super casual affair and you just said something really witty about your stocks. dave found this one, so i can't comment on the website it originally came from, but i can probably make an educated guess that theres a weekend spa package involved.

absolute perfection! i've been holding out on this one, waiting for the right moment to unleash its power, and today is the day! this is one of those pictures where there is just so much going on, and as always, i'll do my best to point out exactly what makes this one of the best. first off: suuuper awkward age differences going on here. really, just beautiful. there is a guy in the top right who not only gets points for looking kinda like Sinbad, but also for sporting the freshest hairstyle imagineable, the totally-bald-except-for-a-really-thin-ponytail look ala the cool singer from Live. bottom and center: best party face to grace this blog yet, and a nice womb-broom to boot. truly this gent is on top of his game, since he is chillin' with so many fine babes. and oh my god, the guy poundin' the long neck in the top left...just gorgeous! bonus points for the slick gold chain. loooots of tribal tats going on here too to solidify this image's quality. lastly, did you notice that the two girls in the middle are topless?!?! because i didnt the first 8239982 times i looked at this one. to blogspot: please dont shut me down for hosting an image with 1/3 of a boob!

thats it for now, but like i've said in previous posts, there is plenty more to come, so stay linked!

Friday, September 29, 2006

keep 'em coming!

i would first like to say thanks to everyone thats actually reading this nonsense! you're keeping this dream of mine afloat. also, the chain-reaction that i was hoping for upon starting this thing is in full-effect: people are sending me hot tub party pics to review. i say, give the people what they want; so no more introductions, heres some pictures that you, the 5 people reading this thing, have sent my way!

this image comes by way of DJ Rick, who has been kind enough to leave some amazing cross-comentary on the previous posts. wow...umm. there really isn't anything going on in this image that isn't gross. either this is one hell of a fancy bathroom, or someone is so dedicated to the art of hot-tubbing that they had this thing installed in their living room. hey, it could happen! modest molly in the white tee doesn't wanna show the goods, and really, its fine by me. in fact, i wish everyone in this image could be wearing similar garments. these ladies must be holding up the one finger to request another drink from their suburban cabana boy. either that, or they're making a funny by suggesting theres room for "one more". not!!! i'm getting into the habit of checking out the sites where these masterpieces come from now, and this one is all too fitting: "american thunder", a harley-ridin' group from orange county.

oh. my. god. words can't even describe how much bizarre shit is going on in this picture, but damn, i'll give it my best. my homegirl alana, who can boast that her dad was actually MARRIED in a hot tub (coolness factor upp'd more that just a few notches!) found this one, and its a keeper. we all know how bros n' bro-hoes party down, but when it comes to the secret lives of the creatures of the night (and mall food courts), theres still quite a bit o' mystery left unsolved. here we see what appears to be some kind of goth ritual, in which they descend like locusts upon unsuspecting "normal" people having a good time and severely bum them out. maybe this brood of witches got the hot tub confused with a couldron, and thought someone was boiling these innocent fun-timers alive as an offering to the dark prince or trent reznor. those arent screams of pain, my dears, they're screams of PARTY!

in all honesty though, i like seeing pictures of goths out on the town having a good time, as opposed to all the stock photos of them just hanging out in their wood-panelled bedrooms looking forlorn. oooh goths, they wanna have fu-un! and nothing is more fun than standing on the rim of the hot tub dressed like a doofus with a 20 oz'er of pepsi. BING BONG!

other things that are amazing in this image:

- left center: fall's hottest hairstyle, make a note of it.
- far right: unleash the one-zie!
- center: there simply has to be something naughty going on underwater between erotic-faced asian male and his buddy pointing behind him!

good work, alana, ace material indeed!

wow! the webpage is titled "big as texas", and they ain't kiddin'!!! only two of the people that i can see in this photo have necks. i can't tell if the guy in the bottom left has a look of pure joy or pure terror, but one thing is clear: he's in for the ride of a lifetime regardless! i can speak more comfortably on behalf of our other more meek gentleman in the back, who is clearly not getting what he bargained for, and is probably plotting his escape route. run free, little guy!

hats off to wilson for finding this one. good work, soldier!

fil found this one aaaages ago, probably back when i first started getting into google image searching this business. and what a truly fucked up weird image this is, too! "our friend is so wacky! look at his/her wacky mask!" is basically whats going on here. not so much hilarity to report on this one, but a fine example of a milestone in my early quests for only the finest.

thanks again for reading, and keep the submissions coming! this is sooo much better than a diary...

it's all here!

if the last post was the cake, these ones are surely the icing...

shit, now this is what i'm talkin' about! can you even believe how stoked the dude in the bottom right is to be mad-laxin' in the hot tub?! that face is all the sincerety we need to know that this guy knows a good time when he sees it. the age-old equation is proven here once again: bros + chicks + beer = F-U-N!!! i would also like to point out that seriously SO MANY of the things that come to mind when i think of the word "bro" are represented in this amazing image: ball-chain necklaces, floppy beach hats, forced-spiritual tribal tattoos...and lets not forget those truly sexy womb-broom goatees! ladykillers, the whole lot of 'em! my guess is at least one of the people in this picture owns a jeep.

i also love how the budweiser cups they're drinking out of are the size of the cups adjacent to the water cooler in your doctor's office. theres gonna be a lot of trips back to the keg for these guys tonight!

lastly: really more weird than anything, is that a tampon behind necklace-sportin' hunk's ear? weeeeeiiiiird.

it's like i died and went to hot tub heaven! if the last blog post was about the casual adult side of hot tub culture, then this one is no doubt all about being young, restless, and most certainly in college. i spy with my astonished eye: two pookah-shell necklaces (in my opinion, just a bit more dude than the ball chain), approximately 4 liters of sprite that almost certainly are mixed with budget vodka or rum, 3 pairs of hawaii-stylin' floral print boardshorts (essential), and not one facial expression that isn't priceless. oh gosh, if i had to pick a favorite though, i'd definitely go with my girl in the yellow number on the left. i can just hear her screaming "WOOOOAAA YEEAAAAAAHHHH!!!" through the computer screen, and i think i have the sound all the way down. really, this is the stuff dreams are made of.

thats it for now, but keep this shit bookmark'd, because until i have a shortage of free time, or until theres a shortage of choice hot tub party pics, this badboy is gonna be updated.

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

throwin' up some shakas

YES! before i even started this thing, good good buddy sleazy mike went to work and found this priceless piece. he was simply not pleased with the results google image search was bringing up by only searching "hot tub party". average fare, andreas has probably seen these, etc. so he decided to really fancy it up and search "hot tub soiree", and WHAM, this is the only image the comes up from a french personal homepage. PERFECT!

this one totally has all the right stuff going on; theres a glass of wine (casual, adult), some classy outdoor lighting, and is that...yes, thats snow around the outside. it may be cold outside, but that doesnt mean shit when you're straight loungin' in the hot tub! the perfect answer to those cold euro-winter nights. there's also an amazing "havin' so much fun!" expression on the guy in the middle's face. oooohhhh yeah, he is feelin' this!

i kind of skipped over this one when i saw it in the ol' image search because there was just too much steam to really tell what was going on in thumbnail mode. but once uncovered, the magic is revealed, and we find that yes, homeboy on the far right is throwing up the international symbol of dude, the "shaka"! this guy, of course, knows how to party, as is evident by all the fun everyone around him is having. casual adult chillout at its finest!

...but theres more. upon closer inspection of the webpage from where this fine image came, a gold brick of text gives us the lowdown on this bro-down:

"Would you enjoy the fun of a secluded, park-like backyard setting, with an inviting pool, bubbling jacuzzi, goodtime music, and fun theme parties, all with a great group of classy people that you might not find at other parties you have attended in the past? Then come join one of my super fun Backyard Socials. You won't regret it.

Here are some sample photos from the fun times we have had in the past.

For more information, please email me with your photo. After all, you've already seen my photos!

Look forward to hearing from you!"

SWINGERS! if you're thinking "gawd, i hope this isn't what my parents do" don't worry, we're on the same dismal page.


welcome, welcome!

okay dudes, i've been fiddling with this idea for a few days now, and i'm totally going to make this happen. for a couple years i've been major into google image searching pictures of hot tub parties, and have amassed a pretty great selection of choice photos as the product. why hot tub parties? why not, that shit is hilarious! it's like my favorite microcosm of casual bro culture. so thats why i've decided that i want to keep a fairly regular blog where i review, analyze, narrate and make up stories for the finest in HOT TUB PARTY ACTION! keep your sights on the horizon because this shit is FOR REAL!