Wednesday, January 28, 2009


whats up all!
sorry its been like a thousand and two hundred bazillion years since i last dropped one of these, but trust me, even though this blog goes dormant for lengthy spells, it is NOT OVER. you know how sometimes you need time away from things to realize how good of a thing you have? same principal here. so without further separation from what you actually came here to read, here's the latest crop of the internet's finest hot tub images, for my criticism and your enjoyment!

dang, this is seriously a busy photo we have here. i almost glanced over this one; trust me, its hard enough to find ones that aren't porn, let alone find ones that aren't just some boring middle america slurms doing the same boring stuff they'd normally be doing in a hot tub. not the case here! first, who the hell is that lady in the bottom left?! maybe they're all adopted and that smile's because she's the "cool mom", but i somehow doubt it. dude behind her is clearly stoned or doing something you only discuss when you've drank too much. i think the dude in the very back has the best stance of them all though, doing some kind of striking cobra interpretive dance move ("i am...FIERCE!"). dude throwing up the piece sign in the middle is clearly assuming the position of "alpha party chief" in this photo. and lets be honest, who doesn't love a too-horny drunk dude who's trying to tongue your date?

a cruise is the middle class version of having "really made it", and these fools are just basking in it. let us all toast it, because it probably won't last long. for now though, tell that twink pool boy "two more mai tai's, wage slave!".

this one is just kind of classic. and its so true, "when you live in marin, you're in"...a place for rich hippies and earth-yuppies.

not one but two! this seems kind of "european" know what i mean. all these ones with just one girl in them are strange to me, dubious even. the bald guy looks like BAS RUTTEN, and a dangitty dangitty daaang.

admit it. you're laughing. or you at least chuckled. this one is just fucking hilarious! i feel like that movie Little Miss Sunshine really did the world a favor, by bringing hysterically awkward children far enough into the public eye so that less people will think i'm an asshole for laughing instead of saying "oh your poor thing".

man, fashion sure is stupid! what? huh? where? trust me, i know, i'm just as confused as to what in the hell is going on in this one. i like the obvious unholy mam-el-toe dickbulge the dude in front right is sportin' so coyly. work it, boy! if the leotard dude in the back were in a new york night club and not the...well, umm... wherever this is, he'd be published in vice's do's and dont's as fast as you can say "cheem".


and last but not least (till soon we meet again), here's one to make you hope your parents never do this! try if you can to find water here in this desolate place. these guys should be acquainted to the fine folks over at linda's big connections (check prior entries for reference point). please, give me more!


so thats it. see, it wasn't so hard after all. please look forward to more updates soon...i know i know i always say it. we're also going to be "published" soon as i'm going to do a review set for william's next issue of his BULLSHIT! zine. so keep this thing bookmared because I AM BACK!