Saturday, December 02, 2006

its been waaayyy too long!

sorry to all the friends, readers and lovers out there who've been checking up on this thing, probably thinking it was a dead cause in the last month or so. gotta admit, i've been really slacking on this front, but i suppose these things can happen. whatever, the good thing is that this thing is back and ready for some fucking action! this last month has brought some incredible pics to the table, so let us not waste any more time; on with it!

ahh, bros. they're always drinking cheap american pisswater, always making some ridiculous face, and thank god, always partying in hot tubs with underage girls. its nice to have constants in this world! seriously, check out how much of a sack the dude next to the lass with the pookah shell necklace is. D-U-M-P-Y! yet he'll probably be getting loads of action because he can toss some kind of ball skillfully. his buddy next to him is so beyond stoked that one of his friends parents are gone for the weekend. and yes, i think the dude in the bottom corner is preparing to do the "eatin' a va-jay-jay" gesture thing that only a classy gentlman or lady would perform. definitely a quality image!

more big fun from linda's big connections! i'm pretty sure fil found this one...its been a while. but wherever it came from, its just the kind of thing we need over here at HTPB headquarters, so thanks! well, now, what do we have here? looks like two happy chub-couples and a very unhappy fifth wheel to me. i'm feelin' the absolutely evil look on moustachio'd white dude's face. maybe he's actually choking his lady instead of cuddling her. i could spend the rest of this review bagging on our lonesome lady in the blue number, but i'm sure we're probably all on the same page with that one, so lets just skip it and agree she looks rather unfortunately man-ish, 'kay?

alright, now the next and final image for this upate is an extremely special one. so special, in fact, that it cant even be shown here. our friend dave apparently knew about this picture before i had even started this thing, but it took him a while to get the seal of approval for me to use it because he actually knows the people in this one in real life! oh, but he did, and we are truly blessed for it, because i hadn't laughed as hard as i did when i saw this in a long time. if a little (or i guess pretty sizeable) dong doesn't make you squeamish, and you're not somewhere where somebody you'd rather not see you looking at a picture with one in it, then brave onward, pilgrim! THIS one's for you!

keep checking back, because even though the updates might come a bit slower these days, this ship is far from sinking! don't forget, i'm always taking submissions, so e-mail me some!!!




artforspastics said...

Okay, okay...all's I gotta say on the picture that cannot be pictured is this: "Sizeable"...what??!? It's pretty sad when a dude's droppin' trow only to hold back the puffiness of his mons pubis. It's like, "Let's see if I can make this appear an inch longer."

I remember a kid in my neighborhood growing up who was really competitive with one of our neighbor friends when it came to dating. Our neighbor friend Dennis made so many girls' hearts flutter back then, and he surely must've been the most over-sexed boy at my middle school. Yet, he never really acted like it was a big deal. To cop an NBA postgame interview cliché, he never tried to force the action, and he let the game come to him.

But this other kid, Shawn, was so jealous of Dennis, and he fancied himself a bigtime player. He was accused several times of lying about action that never happened (including hot tub action), and I don't doubt he was guilty. His game was all offense and full-time random transmitting of that sexual vibe a'la Damone from Fast Times at Ridgemont High.

One day, Shawn was cruising down the street past me and Dennis on his skateboard when he shouted out, "Man, Dennis! I bet I got a bigger dick than you!" Dennis smirked and shrugged, "Whatever." This provoked Shawn: "Oh, yeah...I'll show you!" He whipped it out even as he was skating by, and everyone within view cracked up laughing. Dude was sporting a hard-on in the very beginnings of a resolution phase. Like, he was still half hard.

Even shrimpy kids who hadn't hit puberty quite yet were laughing at Shawn's expense.

When I see this forbidden pic, that's the first story that get conjured in my mind.

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